I opened my devotional a few days ago, and began reading. I stopped at the first sentence.
“Learn to appreciate difficult days.”
Immediately, the total weight of the exhaustion of 2020 fell over my heart.
I couldn’t I even read the second sentence without stealing myself for the next blow. What could this day possibly bring we have not already endured? Do we really need one more opportunity to “appreciate the difficult days?”
And my thoughts continued down this path…
I’m doing my absolute gut level best to be grateful and dig in and press on AND be nice.
But it has become increasingly difficult this year to convince my broken heart to remain grateful and open. But not simply because the stress of this year overwhelms me at times.
Sure, to say this year is challenging is a gross understatement. But to me, the true heartbreak of this entire season is the revelation of foundational issues in the hearts of God’s people.
And I’ll step out on this limb one step further to say something even more unpopular.
To blame the heart issues on the virus, the masks, the economy, or the racial divide is a terrible mistake.
When we were told we couldn’t come together legally, so much of God’s Church lost its footing on mission.
But that’s only because God’s people had drawn division lines much earlier.
Remember, the Facebook posts and comments after the Super Bowl halftime show back in February?
Remember the political tensions in small groups and friendly conversations as far back as 2016. (Or as far back as forever. Politics is at its core the unsolvable word problem).
Ultimately, the prince of this world gave us all opportunities to focus on our gods this year, and we did.
We divided and chose Self and the church of ME over just loving Jesus and people no matter what.
Maybe tithes are solid, so we are assuming the church is good.
Maybe, online numbers are huge, so we all feel like the church is reaching the lost.
And maybe this will all blow over now- or soon-maybe Christmas will fix it?
Maybe, if everyone will just learn to stay out of their feelings and just go along to get along, we could move forward with the joy of the Lord as our strength?
Maybe, passive aggressive Facebook posts aren’t a sign of heart issues.
Maybe, leaving church because you don’t believe in masks isn’t a sign of Self-love over, submission to a leadership just trying to make hard decisions for the majority.
Maybe choosing masks for the majority isn’t a sign of favoritism over faith – maybe it’s just trying to find a happy medium in an unprecedented situation.
Maybe, choosing not to mediate in truth and allow it to soften our hearts to meet people where they are hurting and torn, isn’t the same thing as being hard-hearted.
Maybe, miss quoting sermons meant to gently rebuke and taking scripture out of context isn’t a harmful agenda.
Maybe, the whites are completely wrong and the blacks and all people of color are completely right.
Maybe, we can tear down idols of hate in our hearts by removing commercials, and war memorials.
Maybe riots are only caused by the informed and the injured.
And none of those angry people are just lost and angry and easily lead by lies delivered from both sides.
And maybe God’s people have no real role in any possible resolution.
Maybe the mainstream media isn’t a drug dealer peddling drama and fear to fuel the fire.
Maybe, the word “LOVE” hasn’t been weaponized to prove either side of any argument.
And.
Maybe, we can win the lost to Christ by proving to them we don’t know what we’re doing either?
Hey.
Maybe God’s church just needs to let people know, we love everyone. And we have a small group to meet their every convenience, as well as their social-political-viral affiliation.
But if you join us in person rather than online, just know we no longer serve coffee – because serving coffee is dangerous and unhealthy.
Or maybe we should just give church staff some time off. They can’t make everyone happy anyway. What’s the purpose of setting hoops ablaze for them to jump through, if we’re not going to receive the Truth they attempt to feed us?
And.
Maybe when He called satan, “prince of this world,” Jesus didn’t actually mean the enemy had any real power.
Maybe, accountability isn’t needed in the season of fear.
Maybe, the best thing to do with God’s people is to just let this thing run its course.
Like a virus.
toni's thoughts from the shallow end 